Drumline is a place to expand your musical horizons, such as learning to perform, march, drum, rock a marimba, and all that other great B.S. But in reality, drumline is a place where band nerds can get together, be jackasses, and call it a school activity. The following are some lovely times we've shared and some very interesting facts about our drumline. Beautiful? YES.
PEW! PEW!
.. "Will I ever see you again?" - This is the Wonderful Story of the little Jamie Pot Pie, confused about everything - as always.
"Jamie, hold my coat," said Mr. Montana Mike. In response to this everyday question Jamie replied:
"Will I ever see you again?!"
"What, are we breaking up?" replied Mr. Montana Mike. Then, in the background, O-leesha yelled:
"IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME!"
As a witness to this historically retarded moment, I (O-leesha) would have to say it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Jamie is TRES STUPID sometimes, but we love it!
.. "THE O-FACE" - This facial expression should NEVER be made by your instructors. Here in Sartell, apparently no one got the memo. Matt makes a delicious O-FACE when we, the DL, screw up. Well, the kids of the DL - or more so Jamie - wonder if that's his real "getting-off" face, or his expression of disgust. DL: our letter "O" will never be the same.
.. "Wang-Chung" - Wang-chung, brought up by the creative mastermind Alicia, has been the DL chant or theme song, and the resident catch phrase. Wang-chung stands for pretty much anything you want to, such as:
"DUDE, don't wang chung all over my seat!"
"That show was totally wang-chungin'!"
"Hey, you wanna take a quick wang-chung over to the bathroom?"
"Your mom is SUCH a wang-chung. Seriously."
This phrase is involved in all our crazy antics and has been made into a rap/dance by Jamie. Wang-chung: a saying we hold close to our hearts or . . . wangs? No, don't be afraid: EVERYBODY WANG CHUNGS!
.. "FATTY!" - All I can say is that we have the fattest line and well; "LAY OFF US - WE'RE STARVING!!" Actually, none of us in the Sartell DL are fat, but . . . "fatty's gotta eat."
.. "Kelsey, SHUT UP!" - Simply, KELSEY is stupid. We don't like her. Every word that she says is the new most annoying sound in the world - we promise. She doesn't get it either, and probably never will! TARD!
.. "Bobby ON THE BEAT!" - THE HORROR! So, at the original DL "starter . . . audition . . . thingy," this kid, Bobby, shows up and wants to play snare. "KOO, whatever, try it out kid!" BAD IDEA. Not only did he move his whole body to generate stick movement, he couldn't find the beat . . . what a TARD! This kid even takes percussion lessons! BAAHHH!
.. "This drumline show is rated ARRRRRRRRRRR!" - O-LEESHA and JAMIE P.P. thought it would be funny if something pirate-y would be rated R, therefore you could say: (in a pirate voice) "This is rated ARRRR!" This year in DL we got our wish: a pirate show! But the kids never came to our home show (dickholes!), so we didn't make them a poster in compliance to their "R" rated show. Are we still bitter, sad? Yes and yes.
.. "Tooootin' with the Timpani" - One fine frosty day, while unloading the timpanis from the DL trailer, Angie our awesome chick instructor was laughing with Jamie and randomly blurted, "Jamie! I can't lift the timpani! I'm gonna TOOT!" Beautiful. Yes boys, ladies fart too.
.. "Visual Molestation" - Jamie has a beam of glowing light about her that invites people to violate her "sexually." Sometimes at DL shows kids; or young gentlemen, or lack thereof, will continuously flash her. This is harmless compared to some other attacks made at her . . . unit?
.. "HOTTIE FROM SR!" ("looks like jnick qalok EYESS" a.k.a. Nicky B) - All we can say to explain this is that O-leesha thinks Craig from SR DL is an attractive young male, but Jamie thinks he looks like a kid from Sartell . . . Jamie wins. (Editors' Note: NO SHE DOESN'T.)
.. "Barrss and Haaatdysh!" - Sometimes, Alicia goes off the deep end. Sometimes the poor child resorts to speaking in sentence fragments with a strange foriegn accent, or in this case, a Mid-Western Mommy accent. Spurted from her mouth:
"You kids want some barrss and some haatdysh?"
"YAAA, you bet!"
"Some Kool-Aid for da kyds."
Not all of us can master this accent; AKA the Tard of the drumline and Mikey P. Mikey's cool and all, but the poor kid just can't spit the Mommy accent quite like Oleesha.
.. "Why do you make fun of Donnie?!" - The answer to that question is simple: IT'S DONNIE! Mikey P just cannot understand this, and whenever Jamie or Alicia rips on the Don-Ster (haha), he asks us why. Oh, but he knows: Donnie is just so simple and can't protect himself from the cruelty of Jamis and O-leesha. One day, Mikey asks and Jamis replied: "SHUT UP MIKEY, you're WRONG!" And then we all laughed. And then we all passed out. The end.
.. "Mikey P(IMP)" - Watch out, ladies. Mikey "Pimpin" P is coming to a town near you. The ladies from Forest Lake cannot resist his drummin' charms, and they offer him luxurious hugs and delicious e-mail addresses. Creepy? Maybe. Pimpin? OH YEAH.
.. "Cranim + Forty People = DEATH." - All I can say: NEVER, EVER PLAY CRANIUM WITH YOUR DRUMLINE. Never.
.. "Did you poop yet?" Short story (from last year's overnight):
AMANDA: Jamie, did you poop yet?
JAMIE: Yeah . . .
MIKE VV: (Giggle).
The end . . . ? (Continued next DL season)